Tom & Rachel
by onceuponadutchgirl
Summary: Tomchel! A few one-shots about Tom & Rachel.. reviews are welcome! youtube: mitralawfalls
1. The Taste of Loneliness

**I'm not good at these things and it's hella short. This thing popped into my head today on my way home from school. I hope you like it. Set after Rachel kills Niels and Tom finds out.**

* * *

 _''Pray that your loneliness may spur you intor finding something to live for, great enough to die for.''_ **~ Dag Hammarskjold**

''I feel alone..''

Rachel sat in her lab, tears endlessly streaming down her face as she remembered the look in Tom's eyes. Betrayl. The tears fell harder as she thought of how she did it to protect him.

And how much their relationship was shattered by her. She has so much to say, so much to tell Tom. If only she got the chance.

Truth be told, she regrets her actions deeply. She got caught up in her own pain, and the cost of it was Tom. Her love.

Rachel has walls built around her and lately Tom had been the one to reach out and tear them slowly down.

All that's left is a broken Rachel Scott. Maybe all she ever wanted was to have a family. To grow up showered with love, with a mother that loves her and to protect her from evil. Maybe it was what she wanted to have. A perfect childhood.

But she never got that chance with her mother. That left a gaping hole in her heart that refused to close. Burying her mother, just tore her heart apart, it magnified the hurt. Sometimes she's that little girl all over again.

And she felt... Thoroughly alone. She needed someone, she was fragile and she was vulnerable.

She was weak.

But she couldn't tell anyone.

Rachel messed up and she should have known.

Tom was perfect in every way, she tried so hard to love him and she let him slip away.

 _"Tears shed for another person are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of a pure heart."_ **José N. Harris**


	2. Embrace Love

_''Love is always open arms. IF you close your arms about love, you will find that you are left holding only yourself.''_ **~ Leo F Buscaglia**

She should feel happy, she should feel proud, Rachel thinks to herself as a thick cloud of guilt and anger settles over her mind. The anger fades away quickly- she's exhausted. All the losses and all the setbacks- yet the guilt consumes her.

She tries to breathe, tries to regain composure.

She notices Tom walking into the room. Their eyes lock but they don't say anything. Silence surrounds them - just the sound of breathing letting them know that they're both still here. After a long moment of this, Tom opens his mouth. Rachel glances at him briefly before turning to stare at something in the distance only she can see. He's the one who finally speaks first, "Can we talk'' And then he stops abruptly because he can't believe that after everything that happened, they finally did it. _She_ finally did it. ''About what I hope is going on in there.''

She lets out a relieved sigh. She can see the emotion in Tom's eyes. The tears, the sadness,

 _The relief._

When she was little, she'd understood that people could and would get hurt, but she hadn't understood why.

Sometimes, it doesn't matter.

And sometimes it does.

''We have it; we have a vaccine.'' Tom says with a questionable tone.

She looks across the room, finding her voice to speak. ''We don't _just_ have A vaccine-'' Rachel stopped, not believing she could finally say it. She couldn't believe it was finally true. ''We have _the_ cure.'' She continued. She took a few steps towards Tom.

''You mean-'' Tom's voice trembles and trails off, the whispered words almost inaudible. He couldn't say it. He needed to hear it from Rachel.

''I mean that we can save people who are already sick.'' Rachel tells him. Tom let's out the breath he'd been holding. She keeps staring into his bright, blue eyes. Suddenly, she's no longer facing the strict captain but rather an ordinary man.

A man with love in his eyes.

He steps closer and Rachel's mind flashes back to when they were on the Russian ship. She can still vividly recall the soft kiss they'd shared, and though she also remembers it wasn't real, it still felt real to her. She remembers enjoying it for the three seconds that it had lasts before she was harshly pulled away. She's still not sure how she feels about them. If there even was a them.

Whatever emotions might or might not exist between them,

At that time, it had felt right.

Rachel smiles once again, this one fuller and pure and her eyes sparkling as she did. Tom finds himself amazed by it.

He blinks slowly, and she sees tears there because yeah, they did it.

And really, that's all that matters.

She takes a tentative step forwards and then into his arms, and though she knew they were far from done, she let herself relax in his embrace for a little while.

He's holding her as tightly as he can and she's letting him hold her. It felt nice to lean onto someone for once, to not be strong and just let her guard down a little.

She felt his arms wrapping tighter around her neck and Tom's head was nestled on her shoulder. Rachel's mind returns to the past few months. Their relationship was complicated.

Yet so simple.

They found a cure The world was going to change again soon.

It's not better, but it's not worse.

Not yet.

Their fight isn't over.

But they're closer than they were yesterday and for now that's enough. Taking a deep breath in, she closes her eyes and just enjoys the moment for now. They're no longer the captain and the scientist.

For now, they could just be Tom and Rachel.

 _''She realized home wasn't a place. It was here, safe in his arms''_ **~ Author Unknown**


	3. Teach me how to fight

''Love is a connection that opened the innter floodgates of ones being to another. You feel love when you feel safe and are comfortable enough to let go of you defenses.'' **~ Kumar Anupam**

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Rachel shot up in bed. Taking in her surroundings she realized it was just a dream.

''Are you okay?'' She heard Tom ask. Apparently she had woken him up. She looked uncertain, as if she wasn't really sure what to say. Rachel looked at him in confusion for a moment, and then nodded. She reminded herself to breathe. She was pretty sure her heart was beating so loudly he could hear it.

She looked uncertain, as if she wasn't really sure what to say. She dropped her head, so Tom spoke up. ''Talk to me.''

To Rachel it sounded more like a plea for honesty than a question. She knew she could trust him; she knew she could tell him the truth.

Yet it was so hard.

She studied his face. He wasn't angry that she'd woken him. If anything, he looked worried. She felt her breathing slowing down.

She took a deep breath and continued. ''It felt so real.'' Rachel said, trying to get a hold on her emotions.

''Talk to me.'' Tom pleaded, he didn't want her to keep it all. She'd been having nightmares for a while now and even though it was almost about the same thing, he always pressed her to talk about it. They had been through so much together, survived the end of the world together, and he knew they would get through this.

She hesitated. There were still people out there who needed her, and she wouldn't fail them. She couldn't be weak.

Yet it was all getting too much.

Looking into Tom's eyes, she noticed the plea for honesty.

''Will you teach me how to fight?'' She paused, just long enough to judge his reaction and for him to say something.

After a moment, Tom realized he had been silent too long. He wasn't sure what to say, so he just said the first things that came to his mind.

''What?'' He was genuinely confused.

''I want you to teach me how to fight.'' She expected Tom to say something here, but he just continued to stare blankly at her, with his impossible-to-read expression, which always drove her mad.

''Please.'' Rachel pleaded.

''Why?'' Tom didn't have to know why. He already knew but he needed to hear it from her.

They both remembered that night vividly. A night that started so perfectly.

But ended so horribly.

* * *

 _She watched him for a few seconds before speaking. She wanted to remember him as he was in that moment, with love in his eyes._

 _''I'll see you when I see you.'' Rachel smiled. She turned around and walked away._

 _''Be safe.'' She heard Tom say. Slowly she turned around but didn't look him in the eyes. It was too painful. ''When you get back, find me.'' She looked back, deep into his eyes. She wanted to remember the way his eyes sparkled but also how they were full with fire and passion. How his smile, the one she rarely saw, could fill her heart. At that moment he wasn't the captain. He wasn't a father. He was just Tom._

 _He looked at Rachel as she turned around the corner. Just because he was letting her go, didn't mean he wanted to. He wondered if this was the end of their story or if she'd be back. When she was on the ship with him, he could look after her, he could protect her when she needed it. Now he just felt hopeless and out of control. He sighed and walked into his room. As he collapsed on his bed he thought about his wife. He knew Darien would want him to be happy, to move on but somehow it felt like cheating to him. Still, he was falling for Rachel and he couldn't stop it. I didn't matter though, she would leave in the morning and that would be it._

 _After everything they'd been through together, this couldn't be how it ended. All the fights they'd had and all the conversations. She could talk about scientific stuff for hours and she would lose Tom after a minute but that didn't stop him from enjoying those moments. How passionate she was about her work, determent to find a cure and after all the setbacks and losses, they did it. They made the cure and saved the world, she saved the world. She was fierce, passionate and selfless. He knew if he didn't make a move now, he might lose her forever. Still he felt like it was wrong, wrong to be with Rachel when he was legally still married. When he'd only lost his wife a few months ago and especially since his kids had only lost their mom so little ago. He didn't want them to think he was replacing their mother with Rachel._

 _Screw it._ _Tom thought and he got up, walking out of his room towards Rachel's. As he was walking in the hallway, he heard a gunshot. He ran to where the noise was coming from and noticed he was running towards Rachel's room. No, don't let it be her. He thought._

 _He turned to see that the person on the ground slipped into. As he got closer he noticed it was Rachel. He didn't see anyone that could potentially have shot her._

 _''Rachel, common stay with me.'' Tom said as he put pressure on her shoulder. He'd already lost his wife; he couldn't lose her too. He noticed Rachel's eyes flutter open._

 _''Tom. You came.'' She whispered with a raspy voice._

 _''Of course I'd come for you.'' Tom told her, trying to keep his tears at bay. He failed miserably because tears where rolling down his cheeks._

 _''Just hold on, okay? You are strong, Rach please stay with me.'' Tom told her as he carefully lifted her up. She groaned as a pain shot through her shoulder. Tom noticed it was hard for her to keep her eyes open. Tom ran as fast downstairs as he could with Rachel in his arms. He could hear his crew singing and he knew they'd help her._

 _''Rach, you're going to be okay. I promise.'' Tom kissed her forehead and burst through the door. He knew she'd be okay. He knew she'd be safe and he would never let her go again._

* * *

''Because I need to feel safe, I can't keep walking around, looking over my shoulder.'' Rachel admitted. Tom held out his arm and Rachel let him hold her. She tried her best to hold back the tears threatening to spill, but a few tears escaped nonetheless. Tom cupped her head with his hand and brought her face closer to his. Rachel tried to escape his gaze and looked down.

''I'll do it, I'll teach you.'' Rachel looked up at him, a look of surprise on her face. Meeting her eyes, Tom could tell she was hoping she heard it right but was trying to keep herself from hoping too much.

''I just want you to feel safe again.'' Tom admitted and he wrapped his arms around Rachel. Rachel let herself go and leaned into him. She did feel safe in his arms.

Even though the moment couldn't last forever, Rachel felt safe in his arms.

Tomorrow she'd to go through everything again, but she knew she wasn't alone. Tom was there and he'd help her.

Rachel closed her eyes and felt herself drift to sleep.

She was going to feel safe again and Tom was going to help her.

Everything would go back to normal.

"I got you" Tom whispered and hugged her tighter as she fell asleep.

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''You are the everlasting fire in the empty torch of my heart and the beacon of light which guides my vessel to your safe harbor'' **~ Author Unknown**


End file.
